Personal Safty and Non-Violent Resistance!

Personal Safety with Marty Langlen

This again will be a more informative post, but I think everyone should know the things I learned that day. In fact, I was disgusted that no one had ever taught me these things before. So please read, soak in, and remember for the rest of you life! You actually should probably get her book. She probably explains things better!

Issue #1: Child getting hit by parent in public
- In this situation the kid isn’t out of control, they’re kids. The adult is losing control. If we try to be empathetic with the parent they sometimes feel like we’re condescending, if we scold them they become more upset… So, focus on the child. Praise them and talk to them getting their attention on something other than their tiredness and discomfort. This just calms down the situation. If the child is an infant talk to the mother about how wonderful the infant is. “Your baby is beautiful… such cute little shoes…” Something like that.

Issue #2: Community Safety Practices – “What makes you safe is being connected”
a. Get to know people in the community and treat them with respect (people on the street, mail man, store clerks, neighbors, fast food clerk, trash people, people at the bus stop…)Look at people in the eyes always. Let them know you recognize their existence.
b. Don’t be a target. Women tend to fold themselves up. (Cross legs slouch over and cross arms.) Don’t. Take up space, put feet on the ground shoulders back, look around you…
c. Observation circle. Constantly be aware of who is around you as you walk down the street. You have a 15 foot circle all the way around you. Always know when someone is entering or exiting that circle. If you get a creepy feeling, it is always ok to just stop, turn around and look. If someone is going to do something to you, they’ll think twice if they see you looking at them and observing them. Make 3 mental notes of identifying features of that person. Shoes, tattoos, hair style… easily identifiable things. Practice this and it will eventually become a habit.
d. Read body language (And trust your feelings!!!). Marjawana and Alcohol won’t affect you. However, PCP and crack are threatening. If you see someone ahead of you looking a little crazy, go the long way around them, don’t walk into things. Also make sure no one around you walks into things. To get someone to follow you in a non-threatening way, don’t make it seem like you’re helping them, ask them to help you. “I’m worried about him… will you walk with me this way?”
e. Go on a “what if” walking tour of the neighborhoods you’re in. Observe where alleys are, where people and lights tend to be and know good places to run if you need to. When you walk around the city, vary the routes and times that you walk-don’t be predictable!
*If you are female and run across of group of intimidating men, play innocent and tell them you’re a little scared and would love it if they would be gentleman and walk you to your car… they become knights in shining armor. (Usually…)

Issue #3: Property Crimes
a. Mugging – “Stuff is not worth dying for.”
1. stay calm (deep breath)
2. drop bag
3. back away 10ft saying “Take the bag, take the bag, take the bag”
4. look at observe details about the person
5. run to safety
6. tell people about the person – put up flyers.
b. Home Intruder
- use your lights and locks
- check-in system to know who’s home and who’s not
- code word and meeting place for when there’s an intruder
- get everyone out and call 911
c. Car Jacking
- practice quickly getting out from every seat in the car.
d. Group/Gang
- talk with the leader (just friendly talk)
- if that doesn’t work, go for the weakest link. Act excited to see them as if you have some connection, walk up to them, start talking, twist your way out
of the circle of gang members and leave.

Issue #4: Crimes against US
-Domestic harassers want power/control/ego boosts. Our anxiety comes from fear of
what comes after the words.
- Believe actions, not words.
Ex. Boss rubbing shoulders and saying, “You’re doing such great work…”
Respond: “That’s so interesting Mr.Hands. Why are you rubbing your hands up and down my body?” Calmly pointing out their actions throws them
off and embarrasses them. It puts the power back in your hands.
- Rape testing- people will test our boundaries ahead of time to see how far we’ll let them
go. At the bus stop they may come stand shoulder to shoulder with us, we move away,
they come again, we move away… this continues, we get on the bus and forget about it.
He later waits for us at the bus stop, pulls us into an ally and rapes us. Instead of
moving use the following non violent confrontation:
1. describe fact of what they’re doing
2. Command what you want
Ex. Sir, I notice you’re standing very closely to me, that makes me
uncomfortable. You need to go stand over there. (No yelling or cussing, just calmly explaining what’s happening and what you want to happen.)
***In other countries learn the words for “Enough/Stop right there” They are important, especially in India (Kelsey.) Say them in a strong firm voice.
Ex. Crowded bus in India, a hand is moving up your thigh. Grab it, hold it up and say, “That’s so interesting, what is this hand doing in my crotch?” Say it
loudly so everyone can hear. Even if you speak another language, it will
through off the sicko.
- Harassment on the street use this blanket statement:
“Stop harassing women. I don’t like it, no one likes it. Show some respect.”
DON’T-
1. just keep walking and ignore it
2. “Fuck you asshole” – shook people up a few decades ago, today it’s an invitation.
3. Run away/avoid. 10% of women quit jobs/move to get away from
harassment
Creative Solution: Stop and take a survey. Pull out a paper and pen and say, “This
is great! I’m taking a survey on harassers. Can I just write down what you
said?”Write down exactly what they said, ask for clarification, go through an
impromptu check list. “When did you first start cat calling? Have you ever
been catcalled? Do you harass everyone or is there anyone who’s off
limits?....”
- Work place harassment:
Ex. Boss points at Sam “you did a great report”, and John “Your work has been awesome lately.” To you he says, “That’s a great sweater”. You respond
with “Thanks, I’m glad you like my clothes. What did you think of my
report?”
- A.B.C Technique:
A. When you do “a”
B. the effect is “b”
C. I want “c” from now on.
- Stop Sign:
1. Eye Contact
2. Hands in front
3. Stop right there
If they continue...
4. No that’s enough (give another action)

Issue #5: Self Defense
- Yell “Ki-Ya, it’s an attack, call the cops” (Help’s syllables are too soft, they don’t carry.)
- If you’re a neighbor who hears something going on turn on the lights, call 911, and yell “I see you, I hear you, I’m calling the cops.”
*** Always fight where the interaction starts, don’t follow them anywhere. You’re either dead right away or dead after hours of torture.
- Pinky grab. If someone is touching you, pull their pinkies away… that is the weakest part of them, you can control the hands through the pinkies.
- Choke hold from behind or in front you: Either pull the pinkies or put your arms straight up, hands together, and twist swiftly one way or another. It will free you from the hold.
- Twist and Shout – Don’t knee someone in the junk. Grab it and twist it. This is good if they’re in baggy pants.
- Hammer – fist with thumb on top, smack it into the private parts. This is good on women and men in tight pants.
- Grab on your arm – With your spare hand, push or pull so that the grabbers thumb
pulls back, they won’t be able to hold it.
- Two handed grab – lunge down, grab your fist, pull up with a twist and run. (gets momentum to make you stronger than the grabber.)
***Your will to live is stronger than their will to hurt you. If you get stuck, take a step toward them and push out their knee. (The knee is also a very weak spot.)
- Bear hug – smack the heel of your palm under their chin or nose.
- On the ground choke – use the pinkies
- Arm hold while pinned on ground – get your heels up on their hips and push. This will flip them over you so you can roll and run away.
- Sitting on your hips – pop your stomach up and springboard them off
- Arm choke- put your chin down and your shoulder up to guard your throat for
choking. Then do this dance: “Elbow(left), elbow(right), smash that crotch (right),
kick (back kick) the knee, scrap the shin (Slide foot that just kicked down shin),
stomp that foot (end the move on their foot).”

AND THAT’S IT! You’re safe now. Lol… ish.